Of Chickens and Juice
by Dranzen
Summary: Seriously. All Tezuka wanted was his tea and Echizen in his lap. Pillar Pair


A/N: So, so, so, so, _so tired_. And I think I'm sick. Insert sigh and colourful curses here..This is such a piece of crap it's not even funny.

* * *

He was obviously dreaming but that didn't matter as long as he got his tea. This meant the chickens had to go but, really, Tezuka was feeling too sluggish to do anything but move them aside. But no matter how many times he pushed them away the yellow monsters kept _rolling_ into his lap. Apparently chickens could crave attention – which was one reason why Tezuka didn't have a pet: he didn't have the time to be affectionate. He did, however, find time to find Echizen's cat rather amusing and absolutely adorable.

"Buchou," grumbled Echizen behind him. A chicken rolled by, making a cooing sound as it hit Tezuka's knee. It blinked up at him with watery eyes and Tezuka had to remind himself that Oishi was neither yellow nor round.

He tilted his head to glance up at Echizen who was frowning at the yellow balls of annoyance that crowded around his ankles. Atobe rolled off of Tezuka's head with a squawk and Echizen promptly kicked the monkey/chicken away (Tezuka wasn't sure which it was but he was glad it was off of his head either way).

"Chickens aren't round." Echizen said and Tezuka frowned at him and returned to attempting to save his teacup. There would be hell to pay and laps to run if there were dream feathers in his dream drink.

"A pillar must have an open mind, Echizen." Tezuka stated blandly, picking a smiling

chicken from his lap and dropping it on Echizen's foot. The chicken continued to stare up at Tezuka as though saying _yes, I am on Echizen's foot and you are not_.

Tezuka was very pleased when Echizen kicked the animal away as well.

He somehow heard rather than saw Echizen roll his eyes. "A pillar of Seigaku does, anyways." Sadly, Tezuka agreed.

Echizen raised a hand and kicked another chicken. It wailed in a surprisingly bird-like way as it sailed away to join Atobe and Fuji.

"I think I just kicked Momo-senpai, buchou." Echizen said, sounding almost apologetic. "Is that animal cruelty or assault?"

Tezuka sniffed, shooing Inui and Kaidoh from his knee. "These are chickens, Echizen. They cannot be any of your senpai."

"But they can be Atobe?"

He hesitated. "…yes."

Another chicken flew by but this one seemed to enjoy it and was apparently channelling a cat.

"Che. I'll have to call him Chicken King from now on." Echizen sounds very pleased rather than annoyed. Tezuka wondered if a pleased Echizen was a good thing to have in his dream. A part of him insisted it was.

"Buchou, how come I'm not a chicken?" Echizen asked suddenly, nudging aside Inui who had returned to attack Tezuka's knee. The freshman sat and for a moment they stared at each other.

"Did you want to be a chicken, Echizen?" Tezuka asked, finally.

"No" was the immediate response and Tezuka felt a smile tug at his lips.

"I wouldn't want you to be a chicken, either." He said thoughtfully, pushing the chicken (hen?) Oishi from his lap. Although, he thought, it would be okay if Echizen was a chicken in his lap.

Echizen leaned on his arm, picking up a clucking Kaidoh. He squinted, studying the chicken-form of his senpai. Tezuka watched him for a moment, feeling oddly pleased about their position and not at all worried that Echizen was twelve to his fifteen. He occupied his thoughts instead with ways to get a human Echizen in his lap.

"Buchou."

Tezuka shifted on the spot, tilting his head again to survey the top of Echizen's trademark cap. Their elbows brushed but he didn't feel anything except disappointment as he remembered this was all a dream.

"You should wake up soon."

He sighed and looked down. Kawamura was standing in his round chicken way next to Tezuka's tea cup. This, of course, was a sign that the dream was over.

"I know."

* * *

"Did he ask you if you wanted to be a _chicken_, Echizen?"

"I don't get it."

"Well. I obviously mixed my special Dream Juice Advanced wrong."

"_Obviously_."

Tezuka pursed his lips, tempted to just keep his eyes closed and not deal with this mess. He could still taste the new concoction in the back of his throat and the headache from falling on the court.

He wondered if it was legal to make Inui run laps until he died or if it would be worth it to get Fuji to run with him.

"Fuji! You knew, didn't you?"

"Hm?"

"How bad this drink is, nya!"

"Is it normal for buchou to talk in his sleep?"

"You idiot. Have you ever seen him sleep?"

Tezuka opened his eyes to a chortle of delight from Kikumaru and a relieved sigh that was most likely Oishi – and the beginnings of a fight that was, of course, between Momoshiro and Kaidoh. His vision was blurry and he wondered sluggishly where his glasses were. He squinted, very determined not to throw up or ask for help.

Something cool pressed against his right hand and Tezuka turned his head; the blond blur next to him must be Kawamura and the thing his much-abused and –missed glasses.

"Thank you," he murmured, fumbling to unfold the lenses. Drying sweat form his rally against Fuji scratched at his neck as he sat up. He slid on his glasses.

"Oh, good. We don't have to call Sumire-sensei." Cooed Fuji somewhere by Kawamura.

"Are you alright, buchou?" asked Echizen, leaning in front of a now shouting Momoshiro. Tezuka felt the sudden urge to smile and wondered if that was because of the juice.

"Yes," he muttered, blinking twice as though that would clear his aching head.

"I apologize Tezuka," came Inui's monotone. Tezuka almost rolled his eyes. "Are you feeling alright?"

_Had he not heard him answer Echizen?_ He pursed his lips even more tightly together until they were a single white line. 'Go die' hardly seemed an appropriate answer so he kept his mouth shut.

"Buchou," said Echizen, smirking as Tezuka's eyes returned to him. "I wouldn't want to be a chicken, just so you know."

'I already knew that' also hardly seemed to be an appropriate answer, so Tezuka got shakily to his feet and raised his head with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Chickens and Inui Juice are banned from the courts." He snapped in his best buchou voice. This announcement earned him grateful cheering and promises of otherwise from Fuji and Inui, but that didn't matter; he'd made his point.

This time – when Echizen also stood – when their arms brushed for the slightest moment Tezuka _did_ feel something.

And that made the chickens bearable.


End file.
